Of course your life changes, people try to give you advice. “Get all your sleeping in before the baby’s here. You won’t be sleeping once the baby’s here” That was a worry for me in the build up because I’m a light sleep, every little noise would wake me up. Turns out, I can sleep through some shit. A car door slams three blocks away, I’m up and about. A baby crying next to my head, none the wiser. 

There’s been a significant increase in the amount of poo and spew chat in the house now that Ziggy’s arrived. We’re always congratulating on his poos and spews. 

Bodily Functions….

I don’t get the same reaction and encouragement for my bodily functions unfortunately. It’s usually followed by: “Oh my god really Oliver!? You’re an adult man and not to mention a parent now. You should know your limits and you should know that Greek food and beer finished off with donuts is not a good combination. I’m not cleaning it up, it’s 3am. You can sleep on the bathroom floor!”  Have you watch a poo come out out in real time?

He is a good sleeper which is awesome. He loves a car sleep but only on freeway, you’ve got to be going 120km. As soon as you hit the suburbs. He’s awake. No one told us to build speeding tickets into our baby budget. We live in a school zone too. Those kids won’t know what hit them. Well they will, it’ll be a Honda CRV… 

All these people were like “Oh once, your baby is born it’ll be the most special moment, most joyful, most exciting moment of your life” Have you skied dived before?  You want to talk about exciting? Exciting, is going full Buzz Lightyear and falling with the style from the sky, while overlooking a beach. 

I mean these people must be St Kilda supporters because watching Richmond win a GF by 90 points and Dustin Martin win a Norm Smith medal… and I’ve committed to Richmond, I’ve been a member for over 20 years, that’s a big commitment. Ziggy was here after 3 maybe 4 minutes of commitment.  

Ollie